


Rainy Revelations

by Darkraider



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (2017), Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note (Live Action TV), Death Note (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Kira Wins, Crying, Dehumanization, Emotional Manipulation, I'm Sorry, If you see any mistakes please tell me!, L (Death Note) is a Dick, L Needs a Hug but he won't accept it, L has emotions and hates it, L lives, Light is playing the world like a fiddle, Might be Dead Dove? Not quite sure yet, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Panic Attacks, Pet Names, Swearing, Tags Are Hard, This is a lot better than my tags, Touch-Starved, Trembling, Yagami Light is a Dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-11-08 10:50:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20834246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkraider/pseuds/Darkraider
Summary: L sighed, pausing from where he was kneeling in front of Li- Kira's feet. It was all hitting him now- the reality of it all. This wasn't a game anymore. He was going to die, and he was going to die today. Kira had won.Set right after the scene where he is drying Light's feet and doing the slight digs, but... edited a bit. L realizes that he's not coming out of today alive, and makes a decision.





	1. Lost

L sighed, pausing from where he was kneeling in front of Li- Kira's feet. It was all hitting him now- the reality of it all. This wasn't a game anymore. He was going to die, and he was going to die today. Kira had won.

He didn't want to die. Not really. He had never wanted to die, and had somehow managed to always escape... until Him. The "God of the New World" had wound his own trap around him, and cinched it against his throat. He was truly trapped... but still. With a thick swallow he began to dry Kira's feet again, head bowed. "You win, Kira. I submit to you." The words were sour, and he steadfastly refused to lift his gaze. He didn't need to see the teen's eyes, flecked with red and cruelty staring down at him. Mocking him. In all honesty he expected some sort of remark, and when none came he simply went back to his task- he hadn't even realized he had stopped again.

After a few moments a towel swept over his hair, drying away some of the water. The detective couldn't resist a glance up, mouth parting slightly at what he saw, or rather didn't see. It was... unidentifiable. It was an emotion he had never truly mastered deciphering, but it was quickly becoming clear. It was smug victory over his enemy. It was an emotion he had felt many times, but had never had directed at him... not until now. Now it was Kira who was staring down at him with victory in his eyes, but sweet poison on his lips. The new god hadn't even spoken yet, but L was already gone, and they both knew it.

"Why?" 

Why indeed? Why was he submitting? Why was he keeping his eyes down, and forcing his racing heart to slow? Why was he allowing Kira to win? To own his soul, his body, his mind- his everything. Why?

"I-" L swallowed again, trying to duck his head. He was quickly pulled up by his chin, a soft noise of protest quickly being cut off by softer fingers. "I am scared. I know you are going to kill me today. I am afraid of death." Silly, but... it was terrifying. He didn't know what would come after. Would he go to heaven? Hell? Or would it just be nothingness? It terrified him not knowing. "Will you tell me what awaits me?" It was idiotic, but... knowing where, or at the very least what to expect, could calm him slightly. The teen could simply draw out his torture however... he didn't put it above him.

Kira laughed once, fingers tightening slightly over L's chin. After a few moments he stroked mockingly over the once-great detective's lower lip- a jest to how L would normally act anyway. "You will go to neither Heaven or Hell, L Lawliet," he spoke softly, watching as the other's eyes widened slightly before dropping again. "Nor will you go to Mu. Not now, at the moment." He could use this. Use L's submission to break the rest of the taskforce... if things went sour, he could easily kill them anyway. Their first names were already written on the small piece of paper he carried. All he needed was their last, and 40 seconds. "Will you prove your submission to your god?"

Shit. "I..." He had calculated this beforehand. Had realized that if Light did possibly accept him as the loser, as nothing more than a pawn to the new god, that he would demand a demonstration. 17% had gone towards some sort of public humiliation and reveal of his name and face. 49% had gone towards being ordered to manipulate the Japan Taskforce in secret, while Kira still played the part of young, idealistic Light Yagami. 72% had been the highest probablility, and the most likely route that Kira would take. It was the route of displaying his submission to the taskforce, and using him as an example that even the strongest break. Then he would use that fact to force the rest to stop investigating, and kill any who disobeyed him or his rules. "I will not kill, Kira... not them. I have formed a fondness of sorts." 

A soft humming noise joined the raindrops still splattering on the floor. Kira seemed to be thinking it over, but it could all be for show. "If they submit to my rule without resistance, they will live. If not, you will do as I order or it is a quick trip to Mu for you." He really had no reason to kill them if they agreed to discard the investigation, or frame another. Not Misa, although she was a tempting option. He didn't hate her per se, but she was annoying and a liability. Plus that Shinigami of hers... Rem. She would have to go. That would be easy, really... he would just have to prepare a random attack where Rem would have to save Misa. She would die as soon as the attacker collapsed, while Light would act as a rock to her. She was his weapon, after all.

L bowed his head as soon as Kira released him, seeming to be lost in thought. So his life hung in the balance, no matter what he did. He was a prisoner to the false god, no matter what his path might have been...

An unfamiliar feeling coiled in his stomach and throat, making his eyes and stomach burn. Wetness pricked at his face and he frowned, reaching a hand up to catch it when it fell. Crying. He was crying. Hopefully it would be mixed in with the rainwater still dripping down his face, but if it couldn't, well, he doubted Light wouldn't enjoy it. His shirt was soaked, so it was useless to try and dry away the tears. He made no sound, nor any sign at all he was crying; he kept his head bowed uselessly. Why was he crying? What was the point of shedding tears for something he had mostly willingly done to himself?

He was acting like a child. Like Near, before he had broken. He had been such decent kid before the trainer at the orphanage had broken him. Now he seemed almost robotic- ruthless, and he did not care who got killed in the playing of his games, or the solving of a difficult case. He and Mello had been set to be his successors, but it appeared that that wouldn't be necessary. Hopefully this wouldn't splinter their already fragile relationship. They only had each other, and barely so. His death would have snapped them apart, but forged bonds later on, but him living? He hadn't calculated for that. He was caught off guard still, despite his earlier deductions. However, for now, he would take whatever came in stride. He wasn't dead yet.


	2. A Pretty Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up!

It was time. L was standing behind Kira, head bowed and eyes unreadable. He had been exposed to Ryuk once again, but had taken it easier. He had seen Ryuk before; he knew Shinigami were real, but the death god was horrifying still. It didn't help either that said Shinigami was poking at him, its sharp claws leaving slight pricks of red to stain his shirt. It had suggested to Kira that he really show the others who was in charge, then teasingly traced along his neck. It had been tempting to jerk his head back, to impale an important vein in his throat but... something stopped him once again...

...along with Kira putting a handcuff on his wrist, and the other onto his own. He held the key this time, not that it would matter. The lock on L's wrist had been warped, then sealed, and even if he somehow managed to remove it, Ryuk would alert him anyways. Yes? He still didn't know the full length of loyalty that the Shinigami held towards its human. "...is this part of your plan? Keep me on a leash to do your bidding?"

Kira paused, then gestured down to his feet. He got a certain sadistic pleasure from watching L kneel to him. The man, not much older than he was, was almost... pretty like this. If he wasn't still irritated with the other, L might make a good co-ruler. Someone to rule with in the new world. Maybe once he had gotten L to see the Truth, he would give him more privileges.

He supposed that he could settle for the former detective as a pet, though. A smirk crossed his lips as he imagined L in a collar and maybe some cat ears, like the ones Misa liked to wear. He could already see how humiliated L would be, and how the detective would pout. Perhaps that was how he would make L reveal himself to the world. One added humiliation.

"No. You would do that anyway, L Lawliet. This is simply so the others know that you are beaten." Although... he did have an idea. Perhaps petty, but he had already won. The world just didn't know yet. "When we enter, I want you to announce your full name, and your birthplace. After that you may stay silent, but for now I want you to kneel before me." He couldn't get enough of the sight, really. It was astounding to see the great L, the Unbeatable Detective, kneeling at his feet.

Damnit. Once again, he had figured something like this would happen, but it would still be difficult. His privacy was the one thing he had always assured, and now this false god was making him willingly surrender it. He supposed it made the most logical sense... It was another way to dehumanize him, and to cement his surrender with the task force. The next logical step would be to reveal himself to the world, most likely while performing a humiliating task. He was not looking forward to that. "Am I still to call you Kira, or would rather that I call you Yagami-kun?" As he spoke he kneeled down, head still faced up towards the teen.

The false god paused, then turned towards L. "Yagami-kun, for now. I will announce myself, then you will do so for yourself. I wish to have them all gathered and disarmed before I do." With a small smirk he reached over and lightly tugged on L's hair, then gripped his chin. "I can be a merciful god, or a harsh one. It all depends on you, L. What would you rather I be?" His grip was slowly growing tighter, and he could feel the detective grinding his teeth. Good. He wanted to see him break. 

If he was any less dignified he would have bitten at the pale fingers, but he had some dignity left. Not much, but enough. After a few minutes of the stare down he finally looked away, hands dropping back down to his sides. He hadn't even realized he had raised them. "Merciful god, Kira. Merciful."


	3. Touch

"L? What is going on?" Matsuda's voice was the first to break the silence, confusion heavy. Why were the chains back on? Why were him and Light-kun soaking wet? Why did L look so... defeated? He wasn't alone in his confusion either, as reflected in the others' murmurs and questioning tones. L seemed to be waiting for them to go quiet, so it wasn't long before they did. Within a few minutes of awkward staring Matsuda finally broke and cleared his throat, shuffling towards the door. "I'll uh- I'll grab some towels. You're both soaked."

"Yes, thank you Matsuda." Light-kun said, stepping towards the computers. L trailed behind him quietly, head dropped. It was almost like he was a ghost, or a Shinigami. They all noticed how he stumbled slightly, not used to being led. The last time him and Light-kun were chained together L had always been in control. Now it seemed that an invisible power swap had occurred, and was manifesting itself in the tug-a-war of the chains. "Once Matsuda has come back, L and I have something to tell you all. It concerns the Kira case, and the fates of everyone in the world." 

Aizawa jerked back, hand reflexively going to the butt of his gun. He leaned forward a bit and opened his mouth to speak, before going silent at the look it earned it. That only lasted a moment though before a figure came stumbling in, holding several towels in his hands. "I brought two towels for each of you. I wasn't sure if your underclothes were wet as well, so..." Matsuda's voice trailed off at the incredulous and irritated looks his fellow detectives were giving him, and a slight blush covered his ears. "Um- did I miss something?"

This time it was L who stepped forward, but even with that he seemed... off. He refused to look at any of them, and his normally sharp eyes seemed dulled. No, perhaps dulled wasn't the right word. Heavy. He looked heavy. Something had changed. "Everyone, please place all your weapons and false identification outside of the room in the locker that I have prepared. Watari will be there to collect, and examine each item. Do not attempt to hide weapons on your person. I have prepared for that as well, and have instructed Watari to search you if he feels fit." Before protests could erupt he held up his hand, looking oddly fragile. "Please, do not resist. This does not have to be painful. I will explain once everyone is disarmed and in the room."

L had informed Watari of his submission hours in advance. While he hadn't known if Kira would accept it, he had prepared two plans just in case. His first plan was that when Kira killed him, notification would be sent to Wammy's. His successors would be alerted, and given all files. Plan K, however, had been if Kira had accepted him. All data was to be wiped from all the detectives' computers, and physical copies confiscated, so only L and Kira's would remain intact. Watari would wait outside with a cart to collect any and all weapons, and notification would be sent to Wammy's that he had lost, but was still alive. Kira had no idea of these plans, he was sure. He had acted too surprised to be aware of even the thought of L submitting to him.

Kira shot him a look, eyes narrowed slightly. He didn't look angry though- in fact he looked almost pleased. L had just made it easier for him, after all. He had expected to have to invoke his late Father's name, but this streamlined things. With a slight jerk of his wrist he pulled L towards him, watching as the detectives murmured before heading to the door. None of them looked particularly happy, but seemed willing enough. 

The self proclaimed god pulled L next to his side as soon as the last one filed out, murmuring a quiet, "Good boy." into his ear. That had made him freeze before dropping his head, biting his lip hard to keep from retorting. He wasn't a dog. The praise meant nothing to him. It had to mean nothing to him, or he really would start breaking, and when that happened he would truly lose himself. It didn't help either when Kira stroked along his back, making his skin prickle underneath the shirt. He had no doubt that the other had long ago deduced that he was suffering from touch starvation symptoms, and had decided to implement them in his... training methods. Cruel, but effective. 

Was he supposed to thank him? He wouldn't put it past Kira to expect a thank you for his praise, but he couldn't do it. Even thinking the words left a bitter taste in his mouth- like a vegetable. Broccoli. Reflexively he made a slightly disgusted face, already remembering the last time Watari attempted to force him to adopt a healthier diet. It had been disaster. He had ended up violently sick, with his... handler? Father figure? Caretaker? holding his hair back and rubbing his shoulders. If Kira expected him to start eating a minimum sugar diet, or cutting back, well, he would have to deal with the consequences.

"...am I supposed to thank you, Kira?" L asked softly, looking up from his feet. "I only know what your goals are, not what you truly want from me. I am aware I was just rewarded, but I do not know how to respond." Praise was hard earned. He had built up his reputation for years, and had kept it in check, so he was used to hearing applause and maybe the occasional, "We couldn't have done this without you, L!" but to have physical affection from a former enemy? That baffled him. He needed to get things out of the way, though, before the others came back in. He had to know how to act to get all, or at the very least most, of them out alive. 

Kira hummed, continuing to stroke along L's back. His fingers had trailed to underneath the shirt and L reflexively arched, leg raising to kick out before he relaxed again. He shook though, a tiny but noticeable motion. He was obviously trying to stem it but failing, unable to conceal the small flush on his face either. He seemed confused as well why he was acting so erratically, but Kira had learned not to trust certain emotions. Like him, L was a master actor. Well, almost.

A small smirk crossed the false gods' lips and he pulled away, allowing his hand to hang at his side. That was an interesting reaction. Was L so starved for physical affection it was nearly painful for him, or was he perhaps ticklish? He'd have to find out later. They only had a few more seconds before the detectives entered again and the act would start. "Yes. 'Thank you, Kira.' or 'Thank you, kami-sama.' will do." He murmured, stepping away as the first detective entered. 

Victory, at long last. He could nearly taste it, and it was only made sweeter by the pale man still trembling at his side.


	4. Fear

L was almost gently pushed forward, the chain lax between them. To an outsider it would seem like Light had simply given him an encouraging push, but the two men knew different. It was a signal. Taking a breath the detective lifted his head, shoving his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking. He could back out now. Say that it was a test, and that they all passed. But no, Kira had shown that he could kill them all at a minute's notice, and he had no intention of pressing that.

"My name is L Lawliet. I am not sure where I am from, but I grew up in an orphanage in England." L muttered, standing oddly still. He was hunched over even more than normal, and had his hair hanging in front of his face. "My ethnicity is 25% Japanese, 25% English, 25% Russian and 25% Italian. I never knew my parents, and grew up on the streets until I was 6." He swallowed. That should be enough to appease Kira. He had only been required to give up his name and where he was from, so the extra information should show him that yes, L was serious. None of the taskforce needed to die. He didn't look at the detectives as he backed up, edging to stand right behind Light-kun. He didn't need to see their looks of shock, or Kira's small, triumphant smirk. 

Despite his obvious display of discomfort, there were still protests, the loudest being Aizawa. He had stepped forward to yell, causing L to flinch a bit. "What the- why the hell are you doing this? You didn't need to tell us your name, unless you know something we don't! Out with it, Lawliet!" He nearly spit the name, eyes narrowed. His hand was reaching for his gun, and he stilled for a moment. "You made us give up our weapons because you knew this would happen, didn't you? You're just protecting your own skin."

"Shuichi!" Matsuda yelled, stepping in front of L. He had a slightly broader pose, and seemed ready to defend the thinner man if necessary. "Calm down. L obviously has a reason for telling us his real name. He's done nothing to anger you- he actually told the truth! That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"

There was a slight tug of the chain as Kira stepped forward, far more confident than his counterpart had been. He knew he had won, and was just savoring the moment a bit. It was obvious, even out of the corner of his eye. He saw the teen open his mouth and begin to speak, but it was drowned out by the blood rushing in his ears. He felt oddly faint for some reason, and his chest hurt. Was- was he having a heart attack? Had Kira decided to kill him anyways? It was hard to breathe, and his thinking process seemed to be going at both lightning speed and at a snail's pace. Without realizing it he had began to shake, nearly gasping for air. Dammit! "L- Light-kun-" 

Kira froze when he had felt the chain going lack, then tightening up fast. He then shot a quick glance over the arguing detectives before turning back, eyes widening. L was shaking and having a hard time breathing, and was turning an ugly shade of blue. His hands were fisted in his oversized shirt, and he was obviously unsteady. Above all, he looked betrayed. He was staring at him with the most pitiful look, mixed with fear and confusion. Mu- He'd have to put his plans on temporary hold with the mixed group until L was calmed down. He knew what was happening- a panic attack, and knew how to help, but this was L. 

The false god strode over to L and almost gently took his covered wrists. He began to stroke over the inner skin, humming a soft children's tune. "Shh... calm down, L. You are a good servant for me, aren't you?" Had admitting his true self to the others really scared him that much? Oh, that was almost cute. What made it better though was that it wasn't Watari's name that crossed his mind first- it was Light's. Well, Kira's, but he still knew he had to be discreet. "Focus on your god, Detective." Kira murmured, pulling the other against him. "Breathe. In and out."

Breathe. Breathing was good. Breathing was hard. The former detective was nearly clinging to Light's suit, head ducked down. His skin was far paler than it normally was, and his vision was nothing but a thin tunnel. "Can't- can't breathe- hurts-" What the hell was going on? It wasn't a heart attack, he knew that now, but this was new to him. It hurt, and it scared him. Faintly he could hear Kira still speaking, but he couldn't understand him. For some reason it seemed like a good idea to cling onto the other, and bury his head in the others collar. After a moment he felt a hand gently lay itself on the back of his hair, and stroke just along his neck. Unlike earlier when Light had stroked along his back, this was comforting. This felt like when he was a very young child, and Watari would stroke the back of his neck to calm him. He had always been prone to getting overwhelmed by too many people- hence, his preference to work alone, or only over computer.

"I know it does, L, but you need to do it." Light murmured, not missing how L had clung onto him, and relaxed when the scruff of his neck was pet. He really was like a scared dog, wasn't he? Trying to act brave, and overcompensating, but breaking down into cowers and whimpers when confronted. It was almost pathetic. L's nails, even as bitten down as they were, were nearly cutting into his skin, and he winced slightly. Perhaps kitten was more appropriate. He certainly had the capacity for claws, and quick wit. "I won't kill them, not now. I'm going to give them a fair chance, and an adjustment period. I'm not a cruel god, little detective." 

You aren't a god! L wanted to scream that, to kick out at the other, but his limbs refused to cooperate. He just felt weak, and... tired. Mentally and physically. With a soft groan he dropped his head again, forcing himself to stay upright by using Kira as a stand. "What did you do to me, Kira...?" L nearly cringed at how weak his voice was, and how much it hurt to speak. "Why am I weak?" Had the teen somehow drugged him? He didn't feel anything, but if he had been already distracted, it maybe could have slipped through. 

Kira made a soft noise, leaning back a bit to gently grip L's chin. He tilted the others head back, making sure to get a good look at the red rimmed eyes and paler than normal face. "Because you have no need to be strong anymore, L Lawliet. I have won, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. You are breaking, even quicker than I could imagine." His other hand was holding the back of L's neck and playing with the hair there, sadistic glee rising as he watched the detective struggle. "Enjoy it. You'll only feel this high once, then it will settle. So will you."


End file.
